she smelled like a LAN party
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
