I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
