sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
