HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
