Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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