once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
