I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
