but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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