Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize