It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
