I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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