sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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