matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
