so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
