So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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