My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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