Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize