Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
