Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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