i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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