i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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