i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
