pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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