come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize