I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
