Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
