I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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