Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Screwed.edu
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
