You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Even my vagina gasped.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
