Pappa wants mamma naked
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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