Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
