the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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