My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
