"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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