is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
