if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
