she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
