his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
