You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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