Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
