You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
