we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
