Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
