Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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