i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
