Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Panties = found
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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