Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
