would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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