Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize