You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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