...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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