Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
