i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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