Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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