he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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