so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
