Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my sisters under your porch take her home
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
