...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
