I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize