they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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