I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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