Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
