i may or may not be watching the land before time
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
