I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize